This Year’s SEC Game of the Century

Ok, so stop me if you’ve heard this one before: fast, athletic, highly-ranked SEC team faces off against another fast, athletic, highly-raked SEC team in a game that, ostensibly, will determine which fast, athletic, highly-ranked SEC team will win the BCS Championship that year. Well folks it’s that time again; this Saturday, #1 ranked LSU takes on #2 ranked Alabama in what should be one of the better games that we’ll watch all year.

 

What to Watch:

  • Neither team has a true playmaker at QB, so look for this to be a defensive battle, with a few tide-turning (no pun intended) plays that will be the difference
  • Trent Richardson: It’s not up for debate; this guy is clearly the best offensive player in this game, and maybe the country. It’s pure power and speed; in space, he can either run you over or zip right by you. It’s not a stretch to say that he is a more talented player than the guy who preceded him (Mark Ingram, who, oh by the way, was a Heisman Trophy winner and 1st round pick)
  • Defense, defense, defense. These 2 teams are loaded on the defensive side of the ball, with both NFL size and speed at all positions. If you like to see guys flying around, then this is the game for you.

For now, enjoy the videos and get ready for some action this Saturday.

 


Categories: Uncategorized

Remember Chris Dudley?

November 1, 2011 Leave a comment

Neither did I until I watched the clip below. You won’t be disappointed.

 

After completely dominating his life on the rim, Shaq adds insult to injury by pushing Chris Dudley to the floor like he’s playing around in the basement with his little brother.

The Winning Formula

February 5, 2011 Leave a comment

As we are already being bombarded with pre-super bowl commercials, its only appropriate for us at Sideline Slander to give our two cents on the upcoming Super Bowl XLV. Kudos goes out to both franchises for their consistent success. Green Bay deserves credit for showing that their success is not merely a product of a single franchise quarterback. They stood behind Aaron Rodgers when they knew it was the right thing to do and never had to look back. Pittsburg has shown the merits of its organization as Bill Cower handed the coaching reigns to Mike Tomlin with equal to, if not superior, coaching success. What is it that these teams have that eludes so many other franchises?

For Redskins fans in Washington, our season ended a long time ago and this week we had a rather timely reminder from our Owner as to why. Dan Snyder recently filed a lawsuit against the author of the awesomely poignant article “The Cranky Redskins Fan’s Guide to Dan Snyder” written almost three months ago for the Washington City Paper. It does not seem purely coincidental that Dan waited for his apology until this week. (You can support the Washington City Paper’s legal defense fund here if you agree that Dan Snyder is the worst owner in history).

Ownership is an integral part of any operation, but this is where the Packers really set themselves apart from every other franchise. The Packers are a publicly owned, not-for-profit organization as highlighted by the article “Those Non-Profit Packers” in The New Yorker. The NFL has made it abundantly clear that they can still make an obscene amount of money even if they do not play a single game next year, but it raises an interesting proposition. What if every team was owned by the fans?

These owners of the Packers are not multi-billionaires trying to suck their fans dry for every penny and do not receive any dividends, just the mere chance to be a part of something great. In Green Bay, volunteers run the concessions stands and sixty percent of proceeds are donated to local charities. When it snows, the fans volunteer their time to shovel out of the stadium.

There is a sense of loyalty there that is unmatched in any other NFL team and that is the vital component to having a successful franchise. Unfortunately, at the risk of losing billions of dollars, the NFL included the “Green Bay Rule” into the by-laws stating that a team cannot be owned by a non-profit or community owned entity.

If Egypt has taught us nothing else, the people have the power to choose and demand change. At the very least, we can refuse to pay an average price of $4,000 for a super bowl ticket. E Pluribus Unum.

Categories: Uncategorized Tags: , ,

BCS Title Game Recap

I’m sure I’m not breaking any news here, but last night Auburn won the BCS championship game last night with a win over Oregon on a last second field goal. On the surface of it, it seemed like everything you’d want in a championship game: big names on both sides (Cam Newton and LaMichael James), a close game throughout, plenty of skill and talent, and an outcome that was undecided until the end. However, when looking back on the game itself, I can’t help but to feel a bit cheated by it all.

In a match-up pitting two of the nations highest scoring offenses, the game was scoreless through the end of the 1st quarter, and ended up being a pretty low-scoring affair (22-19). Some of it was good defense, but a lot of it, was just plain rust. 2 early interceptions by Darron Thomas and 1 pick from Cam Newton pretty much stiffed any sort of momentum for either team and gave the game a sloppy feeling in the 1st quarter.

From the 2nd quarter on, the teams seemed to find a little bit of rhythm and you saw the big plays open up, but it was far from the shootout most expected.

I’m not going to go too much into summarizing the game because, like I said earlier, you can get that from pretty much any website. I’m just going to give you some of my observations and you can feel free to agree/disagree or otherwise voice your opinions in the comments section.

  • Chip Kelly (Oregon’s coach) has some gigantic brass balls

Pictured: Chip Kelly's Scrotum

Even though they lost, I have to admire Chip Kelly’s lay it all on the table philosophy. In the span of about 2 quarters, he called for: a fake extra point, (with the holder and the kicker ran an option for a successful 2 point conversion), a kickoff return reverse (which almost got the return man killed and left them with horrible field position), calling for a long pass out of his own end zone, and a fake punt. Even though they lost, CK left no bullets in the chamber.

  • Auburn was the better team (and it showed)

It took a little while to figure out, but right from the outset, it was clear that Auburn was a little bit faster and a lot bigger than Oregon. To their credit, the Ducks knew this too and played to their strengths, a lot of tricks, reverses, option reads, shovel passes, and screens to keep the Auburn D off balance.

  • Nick Fairley made himself a lot of money last night

He absolutely dominated the Oregon offensive line and was constantly in the backfield harassing the quarterback and running backs. It was a Suh-ian performance and I came away very impressed. I hope he’s started looking for houses in the Charlotte area because I can’t see the Panthers not picking him #1 overall in the spring (especially since Andrew Luck said that he was coming back to school).

  • There was no transcendent performance last night

I, like pretty much everyone else that tuned into the game, expected to see a shootout starring Cam Newton and LaMichael James. What we got instead was something completely different, as neither player really played all that well. LJ only had only 49 yards on 13 carries, and while Cam had a decent stat line (although only 64 rushing yards), it was far from the dominating performance that we’ve come to expect.

  • It was all set up for a great ending, but there wasn’t quite the drama there should have been

Cam had a crucial fumble late in the 4th quarter that allowed Oregon to score a touchdown and 2 pt. conversion to tie the game at 19. This set up an almost too good to be true moment: The best quarterback in the country makes a crucial mistake that allows the other team to tie the game, gets the ball back with about 2 minutes to go. I was thinking of an epic drive by Cam Newton to will his team into field goal range for an attempt to win the national championship. Instead, we got the flukish 37 yard run by Michael Dyer that took them down to the Oregon 23. Everyone, including Dyer, thought that he was down, and by mere inches his knee had avoided hitting the turf and he was able to roll over the Oregon player and, after a 3 second pause with no whistle, run deep into Oregon territory before the Duck defenders realized what happened.

Then, after an explosion through the middle by Dyer, getting them down inside the 1 with timeouts and 30 seconds left, Auburn chose to run down the clock for a FG attempt that was shorter than an extra point. No suspense, right through the upright, game out.

What did you think of the game? Did it meet your expectations, could there have been more?

Categories: Uncategorized

“The Quarterback Sneak” Starring the NCAA, Cam and Cecil Newton

December 14, 2010 Leave a comment

Consistency isn’t a bad thing in sports. Ask Kyle Brtozman.

Much as I catch myself rolling my eyes every time I see an NCAA commercial filled with bright smiling young faces playing the cello and performing neurosurgery while dribbling a soccer ball, I have to admit the NCAA’s task is an unenviable one.  But the inconsistency with which the NCAA consistently tackles its toughest decisions leaves its oversight of college athletics looking like Ben Wallace shooting a free throw.

Every college football fan with a pulse saw Cam Newton single-handedly carve up South Carolina Saturday before last, securing Auburn’s seventh SEC championship and a birth in the “Bowl Championship Series” title game (though I wonder if TCU feels like it’s taking part in the same “Championship Series”).  And every college football fan with a pulse saw just what they expected this Saturday: Newton mugging in a new suit, giving a conciliatory bro hug to Andrew Luck, Kellen Moore and LaMichael James in front of an applauding crowd in downtown New York.

Yes, this is the same Cam Newton whose father, according to the NCAA’s official findings released last week, solicited $180,000 from Mississippi State in a “pay to play” scheme as virtually every major program fought tooth and nail to recruit his son from Blinn Junior College.  And yes, the same Cam Newton was deemed by the NCAA to be an eligible amateur collegiate athlete, giving Auburn the green light to play him for the rest of the season. Makes sense, right?  Just don’t ask Reggie Bush. Or Jeremy Bloom.  Or any six year-old capable of reading the preceding three sentences.

Read more…

Sideline Slander Welcomes a New Author

December 14, 2010 Leave a comment

Check back later today for a post from one of our new authors AES!

Categories: College Football

Lebron James is Silly

December 14, 2010 Leave a comment

This is one of the toughest shots I have ever seen in my life…

 

Cam Newton: Master of Sexual Innuendo?

December 11, 2010 1 comment

So I was watching the SEC Championship game, where Auburn’s Cam Newton pretty much asserted his manhood for 60 minutes all over the South Carolina defense. Yes, Cam locked up the Heisman with a virtuoso performance (335 yards passing, 4 pass TDs, 2 rush TDs), but as you can tell by the heading of this post, I’m not here to write about that.

I’m here to talk about what happened at the end of the game.

That’s right, the Cammy Cam Juice incident.

Quick question: If I were to tell you that after 60 minutes of putting in work, the star quarterback would squirt his “juice” in the mouth of a relatively attractive white female, what would you call that? I bet your answers fall into 1 of 2 categories: a) a weak-plotted pornography (which is kind of redundant) or b) Saturday night on Auburn’s campus.

I know what you might be thinking, “but shoot1st, he’s just an innocent college kid having some fun with a Gatorade mixture and a sideline reporter, there’s no innuendo there!”. C’MON SON!

Watch the video again, this time, don’t pay attention to Cam Newton. Look at the GROWN MEN standing next to Cam (not to mention the equipment manager right next to the reporter). You can’t tell me that they’re laughing like that just because a sideline reporter is drinking an orange and lemon-lime mixture of Gatorade. Grown men don’t laugh at stuff like that. Trust me, I know.

Now the subliminal wordplay. Cam told the sideline reporter that it was the “ingredients of champions”, like, oh I don’t know, DNA? And, tell me, where do you find DNA? That’s right folks, in sperm.  We just witnessed the “money shot”.

So to summarize, Cam puts in work for 60 minutes, then squirts his “juice” in a woman’s mouth, then laughs like crazy with other grown men. Ummm, yeah, Cam Newton’s innuendo game is sick!

P.S. Tracy Wolfson (the sideline reporter), you need to get some better people around you. I’ll be damned if my friends, acquaintances, or coworkers let me put myself out there like that on national TV.

Albert Haynesworth Finally Gets Suspended

December 9, 2010 Leave a comment

Womp Womp

Albert Haynesworth has taken a lot of heat this season for being out of shape. Clearly the people who have been criticizing him have not followed the Redskins’ season. He is in shape. That man’s mouth has been running all season. Unfortunately his arms, legs and hands haven’t been doing much at all.

The saga between him and Mike Shanahan has been crazy. Shanahan brought his years of experience and Superbowl rings to the Redskin’s locker room. Haynesworth brought his fat contract. Superbowl rings win every time and they did in this case. Shanahan suspended Haynesworth for the last 4 games of the season and hopefully he has stepped on the field for the last time as a Redskin.

It seemed like Shanahan really tried to make it work but in the end there was nothing he could do. His comments to the press were pretty telling:

He didn’t like the 4-3 defense a year ago. He didn’t like the base defense. He didn’t like the nickel defense. He didn’t want to play nose tackle, didn’t want to play defensive end [in the 3-4 defense]. We got him playing the nickel package, first and second and third down. He didn’t like first- and second-down nickel, wanted to play third-down nickel in passing situations.

Does Albert Haynesworth care. Probably not, at least Carlos Rodgers thinks so:

Albert probably don’t care… I don’t think he’ll miss $800,000.

You’re probably right Carlos. Good Riddance

Are Baseball and Hockey the Only Hope in DC

December 6, 2010 Leave a comment

If you are a DC sports fan of my generation, you have been subjected to a pretty painful few decades. DC has not won a professional sports championship since Mark Rypien, Art Monk and co. took us to the promised land in 1992’s Superbowl XXVI. I was nine at the time and my parents took me down to the parade in downtown DC to celebrate. I’ll never forget it. It’s the type of celebration that everyone should get to be a part of in their lifetime.

It’s not too clear when we’ll have another world championship parade in DC. Clearly the Redskins won’t be the team. We turned the ball over 6 times today in a devastating 31-7 loss to our divisional rival New York Giants. It was embarrassing and emblematic of the types of losses we have seen from this team since Dan Snyder took ownership in 1999. I hate to say it but we will not win another NFL championship so long as he owns the team. It pains me to say it but its true.

The Washington Wizards won’t be the ticket either. Sure we’ve got John Wall but who else? Nick Young? Andre Blatch? Andre had a good season last year but is not the type of player I would invest my NBA championship aspirations in. I won’t even mention Agent Zero or whatever the hell name he goes by nowadays. I never thought he was a winner but after gungate and his actions since then, it’s clear that we will not be winning anything big with this guy on our team.

This leaves us with Hockey and Baseball. The Nationals made a huge move today signing Jayson Werth to a 7 year 127 million dollar contract. Werth brings World Series and heavy playoff experience to a young Nationals squad that hasn’t played in those big games. We lost Adam Dunn but kept the rest of our roster intact and will have Strasburg and Bryce Harper at our disposal. Combining guys like Werth with this stable of young talent could take this franchise to the next level.

We also have a lot of hope on the ice. With the best player in hockey as their star, the Washington Capitals were supposed to win the Stanley cup last season but had an incredibly disappointing loss in the first round of the NHL playoffs. It was the first time a one seed lost to an eight in hockey. The Capitals have the same team on the ice this season and should threaten for the Cup if they are able to pull things together at the right time.

Even though our basketball and football teams have no shot, its still exciting to be a DC sports fan. I can’t wait for the next parade however it comes.