Remember Chris Dudley?

Neither did I until I watched the clip below. You won’t be disappointed.

 

After completely dominating his life on the rim, Shaq adds insult to injury by pushing Chris Dudley to the floor like he’s playing around in the basement with his little brother.

Sideline Slander Welcomes a New Author

Check back later today for a post from one of our new authors AES!

Lebron James is Silly

This is one of the toughest shots I have ever seen in my life…

 

Albert Haynesworth Finally Gets Suspended

Womp Womp

Albert Haynesworth has taken a lot of heat this season for being out of shape. Clearly the people who have been criticizing him have not followed the Redskins’ season. He is in shape. That man’s mouth has been running all season. Unfortunately his arms, legs and hands haven’t been doing much at all.

The saga between him and Mike Shanahan has been crazy. Shanahan brought his years of experience and Superbowl rings to the Redskin’s locker room. Haynesworth brought his fat contract. Superbowl rings win every time and they did in this case. Shanahan suspended Haynesworth for the last 4 games of the season and hopefully he has stepped on the field for the last time as a Redskin.

It seemed like Shanahan really tried to make it work but in the end there was nothing he could do. His comments to the press were pretty telling:

He didn’t like the 4-3 defense a year ago. He didn’t like the base defense. He didn’t like the nickel defense. He didn’t want to play nose tackle, didn’t want to play defensive end [in the 3-4 defense]. We got him playing the nickel package, first and second and third down. He didn’t like first- and second-down nickel, wanted to play third-down nickel in passing situations.

Does Albert Haynesworth care. Probably not, at least Carlos Rodgers thinks so:

Albert probably don’t care… I don’t think he’ll miss $800,000.

You’re probably right Carlos. Good Riddance

Related Articles

• Redskins suspend Albert Haynesworth for remainder of season (sportingnews.com)
• “Fat Albert” Haynesworth vs. “My Way Mike” Shanahan (sportscurmudgeon.com)
• Redskins put focus back on football with Haynesworth gone (nfl.com)
• Albert Haynesworth Expected To Appeal Suspension From Redskins (sbnation.com)

Are Baseball and Hockey the Only Hope in DC

If you are a DC sports fan of my generation, you have been subjected to a pretty painful few decades. DC has not won a professional sports championship since Mark Rypien, Art Monk and co. took us to the promised land in 1992’s Superbowl XXVI. I was nine at the time and my parents took me down to the parade in downtown DC to celebrate. I’ll never forget it. It’s the type of celebration that everyone should get to be a part of in their lifetime.

It’s not too clear when we’ll have another world championship parade in DC. Clearly the Redskins won’t be the team. We turned the ball over 6 times today in a devastating 31-7 loss to our divisional rival New York Giants. It was embarrassing and emblematic of the types of losses we have seen from this team since Dan Snyder took ownership in 1999. I hate to say it but we will not win another NFL championship so long as he owns the team. It pains me to say it but its true.

The Washington Wizards won’t be the ticket either. Sure we’ve got John Wall but who else? Nick Young? Andre Blatch? Andre had a good season last year but is not the type of player I would invest my NBA championship aspirations in. I won’t even mention Agent Zero or whatever the hell name he goes by nowadays. I never thought he was a winner but after gungate and his actions since then, it’s clear that we will not be winning anything big with this guy on our team.

This leaves us with Hockey and Baseball. The Nationals made a huge move today signing Jayson Werth to a 7 year 127 million dollar contract. Werth brings World Series and heavy playoff experience to a young Nationals squad that hasn’t played in those big games. We lost Adam Dunn but kept the rest of our roster intact and will have Strasburg and Bryce Harper at our disposal. Combining guys like Werth with this stable of young talent could take this franchise to the next level.

We also have a lot of hope on the ice. With the best player in hockey as their star, the Washington Capitals were supposed to win the Stanley cup last season but had an incredibly disappointing loss in the first round of the NHL playoffs. It was the first time a one seed lost to an eight in hockey. The Capitals have the same team on the ice this season and should threaten for the Cup if they are able to pull things together at the right time.

Even though our basketball and football teams have no shot, its still exciting to be a DC sports fan. I can’t wait for the next parade however it comes.

Related Articles

• The 10 greatest sports dynasties that never happened (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)
• Jayson Werth Agrees To Seven-Year $126 Million Deal With Washington Nationals (bleacherreport.com)

Hard Hits and the NFL

Devastation

Unless you’ve been under a rock for the past 6 days you have probably heard all the commotion surrounding hard hits in the NFL. Last week was a little more devastating than normal with a number of huge hits leading to serious injuries. James Harrison of the Pittsburgh Steelers was a one man wrecking crew against the Cleveland Browns knocking two of their players out of the game. In response to Harrison’s hits, a devastating hit against Todd Heap and another huge hit against Desean Jackson which knocked him out, the league issued a new rule which gives the commissioner the authority to fine players up to $75,000 for helmet to helmet and devastating hits. Refs can also make these calls on the field for a 15 yard penalty and ejection from the game if necessary. For a review of these plays and an explanation of the new rule watch this video.

Mark Schlereth has a very interesting take on the new rule and the hypocrisy of all of this that I tend to agree with. The NFL has always thrived on the devastating hits that help drive their ratings and the largest professional sports television deals in the world. On top of that, the owners have been clamoring to play 18 regular season games which would expose the players to a greater risk of being seriously injured.

If this is really about the players, reduce the preseason to 2 games and keep the amount of regular season games the same. This is not the first time the length of the NFL preseason has been discussed on this blog. I was inspired to write about it after I watched Eli Manning stumble around the field with a gushing head wound during an early preseason game this season.

The thing that rubs me the wrong way is that the NFL is being very disingenuous about this situation. They are not outlawing these hits because they are concerned about their players getting hurt. While that may be a secondary consideration, it all boils to protecting their product. The NFL does not want things to get to the point where people are turned off by the aggression and physicality of the game as they might be if they watched some of the hits that took place this weekend.

The NFL is even more concerned about having a death or catastrophic injury occur during one of their games and not necessarily for the players’ safety but because an event like this would tarnish their brand. If they were really concerned about the safety and well being of their players they wouldn’t be a) calling for a longer regular season; b) denying former NFL players retirement or disability benefits; or c) promoting devastating hits by selling DVDs that glorify them on their website. It will be interesting to see how all of this plays out during and after games. Will refs actually start making these calls on the field and changing the tone of the game or will this mostly be enforced through post game disciplinary actions against particular players? What do you guys think?

Watch the debate that took place between some of the guys at ESPN before any guidance on the rule was issued.

Watch the NFL’s official explanation of the new rules complete with examples from recent games.

Related Articles

• James Harrison: Is the Pittsburgh Steelers LB a Tough Player or Dirty Player? (bleacherreport.com)
• Mark Schlereth, ESPN NFL Analyst, Blasts New Rules On Dangerous Hits (VIDEO) (huffingtonpost.com)
• NFL: How Much Longer Before We Start Playing Touch Football In The NFL? (bleacherreport.com)
• N.F.L.’s Policy on Helmet-to-Helmet Hits Makes Highlights Distasteful (nytimes.com)

Could Jordan Score 100 Points in Today’s League

He damn sure thinks so and I really can’t bet against him.

It’s less physical and the rules have changed, obviously. Based on these rules, if I had to play with my style of play, I’m pretty sure I would have fouled out or I would have been at the free throw line pretty often and I could have scored 100 points.

He does make some valid points but 100 is a hell of a lot of buckets, even in today’s softer less physical league. I’d really like to see Jordan in his prime against the likes of Kobe, Lebron, Durantula, D Wade and the other superstars in the league. Do you all think he could pull it off?

Related Articles

• Michael Jordan: ‘I Could Have Scored 100 Points’ In The NBA Today (huffingtonpost.com)
• You: The 20 Greatest Shooters in NBA History (bleacherreport.com)
• A Modern NBA Jam: Five Things We Need in an Arcade Style NBA Video Game (bleacherreport.com)

New Beard, New Number Same Old Agent Zero

I am not a Gilbert Arenas fan. I never have been and never will be. Having played ball with the guy myself he does not have the innate qualities that distinguish truly great players from guys who are just extremely talented and go out there because they can. His antics have been thoroughly documented in the media and on the pages of this blog.

Gilbert Arenas has yet to play a full basketball game in the NBA since bringing guns to the Verizon Center last December. He had two opportunities this preseason and failed epically. He FAKED AN INJURY to sit out of the Wizards game on Tuesday. When asked about it he said he wanted to give the younger Nick Young a chance to start. Bullshit! no professional athlete or athlete at any level fakes an injury unless they don’t have any pride in themself as a competitor or the team’s common goal of winning a game. When asked about it Gilbert got all worked up

I screwed up again, so I just want to say sorry. I wasn’t really thinking that this was going to be another media outburst. It’s like everything I do now, someone, tit for tat, tries to blow it out of proportion.

Come on man. Listen to yourself. No one has victimized you. You’ve chosen to act like a kid throughout your entire NBA career, you chose to bring handguns to the Verizon Center, you chose to grow out this silly beard and change your number, you chose to act like you don’t enjoy yourself anymore and most importantly you chose to fake your injury. I’m sorry if you don’t find enough comfort in you 6 year $111 million deal (he’s only played about 50 games since signing it) but you have no one to blame but yourself.

The Wizards had another game last night and it was more of the same. Gilbert left the game after playing about 3 minutes with a strained right groin and was no where to be found after the game when the Wizards locker room was opened to the media. The Wizards just need to ask this guy to collect his checks at home and stay away from the team. He will never win and is just dragging an already mediocre team down the drain with him.

Related Articles

• Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas says he faked injury so teammate Nick Young could start (sports.espn.go.com)
• Wizards’ Arenas leaves game with groin injury (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
• Gilbert Arenas: Why Washington Wizards Will Ship Him After Latest Quote (bleacherreport.com)
• Gilbert Arenas’ Fake Injury Does Not Make Him a Bad Influence (bleacherreport.com)

Say Hi to Our New Author

We are proud to introduce a new contributing author to the Sideline Slander Family. Say hello to “Shoot First Questions Later”.  In case you missed it, he published his first article previewing the weekend’s college football action. We hope you enjoy his work and keep your eyes open for his articles in the future.

Sex and Chad Johnson’s Cereal

Chad OchoCinco Johnson has some sort of cereal endorsement. No, he is not on a Wheaties’ box but he is apparently depicted on the box of Kroger‘s generic Cheerio knock off cereal with the clever name “OchoCinco’s”. Not only is he on a knock off cereal box but someone forgot to double-check the information printed on the product. His intentions were good, part of the proceeds from the sales of his cereal benefit Feed the Children. There was also a phone number on the box to connect callers to an operator at Feed the Children who would take their donation. Someone copied the number down incorrectly and it connected callers to a phone-sex line instead.

Imagine, you are gathered around the phone with your family preparing to call and make a donation to this worthy cause. Instead of hearing, “Hello you’ve reached Feed the Children. How can we help you?” you hear the low raspy sex imbued voice of a female operator greeting you with, “Hey big boy, thanks for calling the hotline, how can we serve you?” This happened to a family in Ohio. The mother who called in had a very mild reaction to it all:

We don’t need anything to give our Bengals a bad name, especially Chad.

That’s one way to look at it. Kroger has pulled all of these boxes off the shelf and promised to double-check all of the phone numbers they put on their products from now on.

Related Articles

• Chad Ochocinco’s Cereal Mix-up Promotes Phone Sex Line (hellobeautiful.com)
• Chad Ochocinco Cereal Promotes Phone Sex Line (huffingtonpost.com)