Fake Togo National Team Plays Match

Togo's actual team

The small West African nation of Togo has a soccer federation and fields a team for international matches. Although they have only made one World Cup appearance (2006), they have played a number of friendly matches around the world. This Togo team is not the team that showed up to play against Bahrain in a friendly match a couple of weeks ago.

This team was completely unsanctioned by the Togo Soccer Federation and people are still trying to piece the story together. This group of guys somehow scheduled a friendly match with Bahrain, acquired enough jerseys and equipment to make themselves look like the Togo national team, made their way to Bahrain and most remarkably of all lost by only three goals against an actual national team (3-0).

The identity of the mastermind behind all of this has been discovered by the Togo Soccer Federation. The AFP reports:

An inquiry was launched last Thursday into the affair by the Togolese football authorities who on Monday identified former national coach Bana Tchanile as the man behind one of the most embarrassing episodes in the country’s sporting history.

“After investigations it’s clear that the organisation, the preparation and the follow-up was planned by Bana Tchanile without permission, nor agreement from the authorities,” a statement announced.

Who is Tchanile you may ask. He is no stranger to the Togolese National Team or taking them to matches without any authorization. The AP reports that he was currently on suspension for taking a team to a match in Egypt this July without any official authorization:

Bana was Togo’s national team coach on two occasions, in 2000 and 2004, and had already been suspended from his position on the team’s technical staff for two years for taking a group of players to a tournament in Egypt in July without permission.

I have a strong feeling this won’t be the last time Bana coaches and organizes an unsanctioned match.

Related Articles

• Togo says ex-coach Tchanile Bana to blame for fake national team (usatoday.com)
• Fake mastermind behind fake Togo team revealed! (sports.yahoo.com)
• Who Is Pretending To Be The Togo Soccer Team? [Soccer] (deadspin.com)

Spain

Congrats to Spain on its first ever World Cup victory. They played a good game and deserved to beat a Netherlands team that was constantly drawing yellow cards and fouling. I’m guessing there will be a large spike in the birthrate about 9 months from now. Check out the postgame interview of the Spanish goalie. I guess you can do this when you win the world cup.

World Cup Officiating

Looks like a goal from here

The officiating at the World Cup has been absolutely awful. Referees have missed calls that undoubtedly changed the outcomes of games. Most recently, the officials screwed up an offside call that allowed Argentina to score their first goal against Mexico and missed a goal the English scored against Germany which would have tied the game at 2-2.

Both of these goals completely changed the way the teams approached the game and provided a huge boost for the teams that benefited. A replay of the Argentinian goal was shown on the jumbotron during the match and nearly caused a mutiny on the field.  In response, FIFA has decided to censor replays that are shown during the match and chosen to completely ignore the underlying cause of the problem.

Nearly every other legitimate sport employs technological devices to improve the accuracy of the officiating and it works pretty well for the most part. Soccer is the only sport that does not use this technology and the integrity of the game is suffering as a result. This is the first World Cup to be broadcast on the internet and in HD. FIFA might as well allow their refs to use replay technology and fully catch up with the times.

The US Victory

Landon Donovan’s goal in the 91^st minute of the US’ World Cup match against Algeria will go down as one of the biggest moments in the history of the sport in America. This goal won the game and secured the US’ place in the field of sixteen for the first elimination round of the Cup. For a country in which most kids grow up playing soccer, the US has historically never been a contender as far as international soccer goes and most kids abandon the sport by the time they reach middle school. Soccer is not a staple of American life as it is in Brazil, England, Senegal, Spain or countless other countries that have had success on the international stage. Having traveled to some of these places the difference is immediately apparent.

Brazil is a perfect example. Everyone and their momma sells soccer jerseys over there and the ball skills of mere civilians are startling. Watch this video if you don’t believe me. The same is true in Senegal. Your head better be on a swivel at all times if you are near any open space because you never know when a soccer ball will come flying towards you followed by a heard of kids in sandals having the time of their lives.

Landon’s goal was a huge step in the right direction for the country and much needed. Oil is gushing into the Gulf of Mexico by the millions of gallons and will be indefinitely, our economy is still struggling, we are fighting wars at home and abroad, and the political climate in the country is as polarized as it has been in decades. Even if it was just for a couple minutes or seconds, Landon’s goal united us all in celebration and provided a reminder that we are in this together.

French World Cup Team = Fail

The French World Cup team has been a complete disaster since they arrived in South Africa this month. They played with little urgency in their first game and ended up tying Uruguay 0 – 0. They came out against Mexico in their second game and lost 2 – 0 and struggled the entire match. It was reported that at halftime of that game striker Nicolas Anelka told the French coach “Go F*ck yourself, you son of a whore.” This was an incident that occurred at halftime in the French locker room and it some how made its way to the front page of French newspapers.

This fact alone is completely unacceptable. This team is competing at the highest level of the sport and representing their country. In order for them to be successful, the team must have a certain level of trust amongst themselves. Leaking heated halftime discussions to the press is a complete violation of that trust. If the locker room is not a safe space for candid discussion there is no safe space for this team. I’ve seen a lot of madness in and outside of locker rooms in my day that was never reported because people respected the team and the trust that was required to be successful. Without that, failure is eminent.

In response to this news story, the French Football Federation sent Anelka home without any review of the incident or consultation with any members of the team. All of this led to the images in the video above of all of the French players walking off of the pitch and refusing to practice yesterday. Countless fans, members of the press and other spectators were excited to watch the French side’s practice. Things started well with the players shaking hands and signing autographs but a dispute broke out between a French player and their fitness coach once the team actually stepped out onto the field. As you saw in the video it was pretty intense and the two had to be separated. Instead of dealing with the situation like men and going through an intense practice to let off some steam, the French players walked back onto their bus and closed the shades like a bunch of sad little kids.

North Korea: The Case for Mercenary Fans

Woah! Two soccer posts in a row?? Don’t worry: I promise I didn’t join this blog solely to write about soccer; I’ve been inflicted, much like everyone else, by the World Cup bug. So, now back to the regularly-scheduled show: Mercenaries, love them or hate them, but the fact is they’re a staple of popular society, with a history that goes back to many centuries. Their application can occur in many contexts, so let’s look at a few. We Americans are probably bitter that, during the American Revolution, King George (oh, that tyrant!) hired German mercenaries in England’s fight against the colonies. These Germans were soldiers of fortune, out to make a buck rather than to make a point, but their dedication was probably just as impactful as if their own country was fighting the war. Of course, a different set of ideals was the source of their motivation, but perhaps money was a stronger motivating factor than patriotism itself. My favorite mercenary is undoubtedly Rambo (although I haven’t seen the films in the past ten years, he always seemed like the ultimate badass when I was viewing him during my early years). How could you ever hate a guy with Stallone’s accent, equipped with more guns than a General Petraeus birthday party, with Dick Cheney, Charles Heston, and Plexico Burress in attendance? Except that Rambo would never faint no matter the circumstances (a little too harsh?). And how can you forget the latest remake of the A-Team, a group of die-hard mercenaries who you come to love within a short period of time? Then again, certain mercenaries didn’t quite fulfill a fortunate fate: in Jurassic Park 3 (if you ever get the unlucky chance of being stuck watching this film, be sure to fake an illness to get out immediately), Cooper, Nash, and Udesky, hired to save a boy stranded on the island of Isla Sorna, eventually meet their demise by a Spinosaurus and a pack of Velociraptors. What’s worse: dying in that fashion or catching your prized possession in your zipper? (It’s a close call for me.)

Consider, then, the application of mercenaries in sports. To me, the most obvious example, especially in the context of the World Cup, is the use of foreign coaches by countries. It’s bad alone that no team has ever been led to a World Cup Championship with a foreign coach. But to me a World Cup isn’t necessarily worldly in the big stage sense if you decide to use someone outside of your nation to coach you. The World Cup is as much about national pride as about the collective talent from a group of unique athletes. Perhaps this is not much for debate because a team has yet to win under these circumstances, or maybe this is just my being picky. I hear a country, and I expect every person that’s taking part in that country’s run to be from that country or have some sort of tie and allegiance to that country. Is that asking for too much? You can tell me when I’m being picky or ridiculous. Well, let’s take the subject of mercenaries and apply it in a different context, as the North Koreans have apparently done, perhaps a not-so-surprising circumstance.

No Sex During the World Cup = Doom

Yes, yes, while Chris Rock says, “There’s no sex in the champagne room,” no sex at the World Cup may, on the other hand, equal doom. Sports and sex go hand-in-hand (there’s a double entendre there somewhere for you pervs Shakespearean fans). I guess Britain’s World Cup coach and Italian Fabio Capello didn’t get the memo when he banned the team from any sexual activity during the month-long games. Not necessarily assuming nudity equals sex, but the fact is that ancient Olympians originally began their athletic tenure in their birthday suits. How else did we get our word gymnasium, linguistically derived from the Greek word gymos (meaning, you guessed it, naked)? And it wasn’t even during the Olympics that these bare-devils performed strictly in the nude, but also while practicing: how else can you get used to the oscillation of your most private areas unless you practiced beforehand? That is where one becomes master. For a brief and yet holistic account of the Olympics in antiquity, click here .

Presumably, the original nude Olympics halted little by little after the decree by Christian Emperor Theodosius I, in 393 AD, that forbade all things pagan, which (somehow, perhaps because of the nudity but most likely because of the affiliation with the gods?) included the Olympic games. Ultimately, the city of Olympia saw its demise during the 7th century, along with our only chances to see our favorite Olympian compete in the nude. Blasphemy! Seriously, imagine watching, in high definition of course, any individual who epitomizes the Vitruvian concept or the Pythagorean theory of mathematics or, you get the point, all in the nude. And, yes, I expect the Winter Sports Olympians not to be the exception! Alas, we can thank Theodosius for preventing all of that and the Federal Communications Commission for never allowing us to see it should this happen. Heck, if we can’t see Janet’s nipple piercing, how could we ever watch figure skaters triple-axeling (yes, I turned that into a verb) with only their skates on?

What The Hell is That Noise

If you’ve watched a single second of the world cup this year you have heard the constant wailing that sounds like a swarm of bees hovering around the microphone. That’s the sound of thousands of spectators blowing into a traditional South African horn called the vuvuzela.

There has been a lot of controversy swirling around the use of these horns at the 2010 World Cup. Players and coaches have been complaining that the constant noise has made it almost impossible to communicate on the field.

The FIFA president has come out strongly in favor of not banning the traditional instrument. And since when are soccer matches supposed to be quite. Sure these things sound pretty annoying from my seat on the couch but definitely no louder than any other UEFA match. And this is the World Cup!! It would probably be safe to expect a little more noise than usual. I’m glad FIFA is handling this how it is and coaches, players and fans will just have to adjust to the conditions in South Africa. We should be talking about how well the fields have held up after days of rain and not these horns.

UPDATE:

Apparently the broadcasters have taken matters into their own hands. Host Broadcast Services, the company that provides the broadcast feed for the cup, has installed more audio filters in an effort to reduce the noise from the vuvuzelas. A side effect of this is that all of the noise from the crowd including chants and cheers are muted as well.

The BBC is giving users an option to watch the Cup and select an alternate audio feed that significantly reduces the noise created by the vuvuzelas. Has anyone actually been bothered by this noise while watching games? It seems like people are just complaining about nothing. What do you all think?

Weekend Wrap Up

This was a huge weekend in sports. The World Cup started on Friday and we’ve had games every morning and afternoon since. The USA tied England on Saturday 1-1 with the England goalkeeper letting in one of the softest goals in the history of the World Cup and maybe the sport. Ghana beat Serbia 1-0 and Germany pummeled Australia 4-0 on Sunday. If you want to catch some of the action at work ESPN3.com is by far your best bet if you’re on the right ISP or at least have an account with one of them.

Fail.

I might start watching the games on Univision… Some of ESPN’s broadcasts have literally put me to sleep.

In the NBA finals Boston took a big W at home and has taken a 3-2 lead in the series. In order to close it out, Boston will have to win one of the last two games which will both be played in LA. On the other hand, LA will have to win back to back games at home which has not happened yet during this series in order to win the NBA Championship. The refs actually held their whistles for much of the game last night and were finally able to let the players get out there and give us a show.

2010 FIFA World Cup

The Hype has been building for some time now but the 2010 World Cup in South Africa is almost here!! The tournament starts Friday at 10:00am Eastern Standard Time with host South Africa taking on Mexico. There will be tons of action with 8 games over the first three days of the tournament. Highlights include Argentina v. Nigeria at 10:00am on Saturday followed later that afternoon by a clash between the USA and England at 2:30pm. The game between Ghana and Serbia at 10:00am on Sunday should also be a good one.

D.C. has residents from all over the world and it’s always great to see peoples’ pride on display during the World Cup. Flags will be flown, jerseys will be worn, traditional drinks will be served, and national cheers and anthems will be sung.

Watching Senegal’s run to the quarter-finals of the 2002 World Cup was incredible for me. They missed the cut this year but this only opens the door for a similar performance from another underdog.

ESPN.com was an extensive breakdown of the opening round groups, schedules and matchups on their website. If you’re interested in soaking up all that DC will have to offer during the tournament there are hundreds of great places to watch the Cup. DCist.com is a good place to start if you are looking for a place to go. My personal favorite is soccer in the circle. This is going to ruin my productivity during the work week but should be a really good time.

To put yourself in the mood, check out these highlights from Senegal’s run in 2002. They were playing some beautiful football. Hopefully we will see them again in 2014.